The main characters of this blog are four minions, one woman, and an alcoholic llama.
The Minions:
Boris. The home loving minion who bakes cobblers and dreams of meeting the perfect woman.
Ambition: To meet Martha Stewart.
Trademark: Apron. Giant cookbook collection.
Frequently Mistaken For: Jamie Oliver.
Ivan. The minion who is either silent and brooding or else in the middle of a really long rant about why he hates everyone.
Ambition: To write the angriest poetry collection ever penned by a person past adolescence.
Trademark: Vodka.
Frequently Mistaken For: A homeless person.
Vasily. The glamour loving minion, who owns four pairs of leather pants.
Ambition: To marry Sarakastic and to create his own jeans line called Good Buttz.
Trademark: Pocket mirrors. Imaginary feud with Brad Pitt.
Frequently Mistaken For: Kurt Hummel.
Mikhail. Loves swords and Love Story. Watches the latter far more frequently than the rest of household can bear.
Ambition: To become a ninja.
Trademark: Weapons. Lots of them.
Frequently Mistaken For: One of those people who do battle reenactments.
The Woman:
Stacy. Quiet, writerly type who never imagined herself leading minions.
Ambition: Either total world domination or starting her own sewing circle. It’s a tough decision.
Trademark: At 5’1”, a full foot shorter than all four of the minions.
Frequently Mistaken For: Pretty much any short brunette, including but not limited to Christina Ricci and Mila Kunis.
The Drunken Llama:
Dom Perignon. Whiskey loving llama with a serious attitude.
Ambition: To hold up a liquor store.
Trademark: Ability to pass out during already awkward situations.
Frequently Mistaken For: Other llamas
