Summary: In the third Twilight movie, Edward is back in Forks, and Bella and Edward are back together. The good news of this is that Bella is no longer trying to go off and die alone in the wilderness, and the bad news is Edward is back.
As usual, Forks, Washington is full of supernatural activity. Villainous Victoria is back, though we’re not sure she ever left; angsty newborn vampires are forming an army; and the Volturi are in town, with Dakota Fanning misplacing her normally impeccable acting skills.
On a more personal level, Bella has grown a bit more backbone since the last Twilight film. Edward continues to be stuck in an era where women are property. Alice continues to be annoying. Jasper finally gives up on that creepy staring thing he did in the previous two films. Victoria robs the cradle. Jacob still hasn’t learned how to put on a shirt. Jacob has an epiphany, realizing that Bella likes creepy, overpossessive men and determines to become one. Will he succeed in winning Bella’s heart with his new bad behavior?
Movie Night Menu:
Boris’s famous homemade pizza (for everyone but Vasily who was having a fat day)
Salad
Chocolate fondue and fruit (everyone but Vasily)
Peeps (Dom only)
Pinot Noir (Boris, Mikhail, Stacy)
Crystal Light and vodka (Vasily)
Vodka (Ivan and Dom)
Reviews:
Boris: I’m a little confused as to why every supernatural being is obsessed with Bella, but aside from that, I liked it. 4/5
Dom: $&*^$&^!!!!*
Ivan: There is not enough vodka in the world. 0/5
Mikhail: When watching a Twilight film, it’s a given that there won’t be much complexity there. However if one goes in merely expecting to be entertained, then it is a successful film. It has more fight scenes than the previous films, and I liked it for that. 3/5
Stacy: What did I learn from Eclipse? Camping with werewolves is safer than camping with vampires. 3/5
Vasily: Vampire battles! Pretty ladies! 5/5!
*Boris translates Dom’s review: I was hoping for more bloodshed, but it was fine. Pass the Peeps. 2/5
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Ivan on Vasily and Candyland
On Tuesday, something terrible happened. Vasily learned of the existence of the game Candyland. You might be asking, “Who hasn’t grown up with Candyland?” I’ll tell you: People who grew up in Ukraine, and because of it, we’re better than you.
I digress. Vasily was online when he began shrieking. We all went running into the room because, from the sound of it, he had trapped himself under the futon again, and Boris, Mikhail, and Stacy were going to go to his rescue, and I was going to take pictures to upload to facebook.
Unfortunately for me and my camera, Vasily was not trapped under the futon. He was staring at a webpage in disbelief. “Is it true?” he demanded of Stacy.
She frowned at the page, which featured a board game for sale. “Is Candyland true? There’s no such place, but it is a game.”
“And everything is candy? Houses? Streets? Forests?”
“In the game, yes.”
A monster was then born. I wish I could tell you Vasily dashed out to Target and bought his own copy of Candyland. That would have been tolerable. I might have evenplayed a game with him let him play a game with Boris without comment. But no, he dashed out to Target and bought 90 boxes of Peeps. Stacy was greatly displeased when she learned he’d used her credit card for this.
What does one do with 130 boxes of Peeps? He builds a castle, of course, which happens to be in the middle of the living room. He has constructed it very carefully –pink Peep, yellow Peep, pink Peep, yellow Peep- and he has created everything but the tower as he doesn’t plan to buy more Peeps until they go on sale after Easter. He has also added some Hershey’s Kisses for “bling” (his wording, not mine, in case you’re not smart enough to pick up on that). It hasn’t attracted bugs yet, but it’s only a matter of time.
For the time being, Stacy is ignoring the pink and yellow marshmallow castle in the middle of her living room, as well as the fact that Vasily has dragged his sleeping bag into it, so the castle is never unguarded. As for me, I am grateful that Dom gets out of rehab next week. If I inject a select few Peeps with vodka, that llama will eat the entire thing in ten minutes.
I digress. Vasily was online when he began shrieking. We all went running into the room because, from the sound of it, he had trapped himself under the futon again, and Boris, Mikhail, and Stacy were going to go to his rescue, and I was going to take pictures to upload to facebook.
Unfortunately for me and my camera, Vasily was not trapped under the futon. He was staring at a webpage in disbelief. “Is it true?” he demanded of Stacy.
She frowned at the page, which featured a board game for sale. “Is Candyland true? There’s no such place, but it is a game.”
“And everything is candy? Houses? Streets? Forests?”
“In the game, yes.”
A monster was then born. I wish I could tell you Vasily dashed out to Target and bought his own copy of Candyland. That would have been tolerable. I might have even
What does one do with 130 boxes of Peeps? He builds a castle, of course, which happens to be in the middle of the living room. He has constructed it very carefully –pink Peep, yellow Peep, pink Peep, yellow Peep- and he has created everything but the tower as he doesn’t plan to buy more Peeps until they go on sale after Easter. He has also added some Hershey’s Kisses for “bling” (his wording, not mine, in case you’re not smart enough to pick up on that). It hasn’t attracted bugs yet, but it’s only a matter of time.
For the time being, Stacy is ignoring the pink and yellow marshmallow castle in the middle of her living room, as well as the fact that Vasily has dragged his sleeping bag into it, so the castle is never unguarded. As for me, I am grateful that Dom gets out of rehab next week. If I inject a select few Peeps with vodka, that llama will eat the entire thing in ten minutes.
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