Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Minion Movie Club: Eclipse

Summary: In the third Twilight movie, Edward is back in Forks, and Bella and Edward are back together. The good news of this is that Bella is no longer trying to go off and die alone in the wilderness, and the bad news is Edward is back.

As usual, Forks, Washington is full of supernatural activity. Villainous Victoria is back, though we’re not sure she ever left; angsty newborn vampires are forming an army; and the Volturi are in town, with Dakota Fanning misplacing her normally impeccable acting skills.

On a more personal level, Bella has grown a bit more backbone since the last Twilight film. Edward continues to be stuck in an era where women are property. Alice continues to be annoying. Jasper finally gives up on that creepy staring thing he did in the previous two films. Victoria robs the cradle. Jacob still hasn’t learned how to put on a shirt. Jacob has an epiphany, realizing that Bella likes creepy, overpossessive men and determines to become one. Will he succeed in winning Bella’s heart with his new bad behavior?

Movie Night Menu:

Boris’s famous homemade pizza (for everyone but Vasily who was having a fat day)
Salad
Chocolate fondue and fruit (everyone but Vasily)
Peeps (Dom only)
Pinot Noir (Boris, Mikhail, Stacy)
Crystal Light and vodka (Vasily)
Vodka (Ivan and Dom)

Reviews:

Boris: I’m a little confused as to why every supernatural being is obsessed with Bella, but aside from that, I liked it. 4/5
Dom: $&*^$&^!!!!*
Ivan: There is not enough vodka in the world. 0/5
Mikhail: When watching a Twilight film, it’s a given that there won’t be much complexity there. However if one goes in merely expecting to be entertained, then it is a successful film. It has more fight scenes than the previous films, and I liked it for that. 3/5
Stacy: What did I learn from Eclipse? Camping with werewolves is safer than camping with vampires. 3/5
Vasily: Vampire battles! Pretty ladies! 5/5!

*Boris translates Dom’s review: I was hoping for more bloodshed, but it was fine. Pass the Peeps. 2/5

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