Ivan on Vasily and Candyland

On Tuesday, something terrible happened. Vasily learned of the existence of the game Candyland. You might be asking, “Who hasn’t grown up with Candyland?” I’ll tell you: People who grew up in Ukraine, and because of it, we’re better than you.

I digress. Vasily was online when he began shrieking. We all went running into the room because, from the sound of it, he had trapped himself under the futon again, and Boris, Mikhail, and Stacy were going to go to his rescue, and I was going to take pictures to upload to facebook.

Unfortunately for me and my camera, Vasily was not trapped under the futon. He was staring at a webpage in disbelief. “Is it true?” he demanded of Stacy.

She frowned at the page, which featured a board game for sale. “Is Candyland true? There’s no such place, but it is a game.”

“And everything is candy? Houses? Streets? Forests?”

“In the game, yes.”

A monster was then born. I wish I could tell you Vasily dashed out to Target and bought his own copy of Candyland. That would have been tolerable. I might have even played a game with him let him play a game with Boris without comment. But no, he dashed out to Target and bought 90 boxes of Peeps. Stacy was greatly displeased when she learned he’d used her credit card for this.

What does one do with 130 boxes of Peeps? He builds a castle, of course, which happens to be in the middle of the living room. He has constructed it very carefully –pink Peep, yellow Peep, pink Peep, yellow Peep- and he has created everything but the tower as he doesn’t plan to buy more Peeps until they go on sale after Easter. He has also added some Hershey’s Kisses for “bling” (his wording, not mine, in case you’re not smart enough to pick up on that). It hasn’t attracted bugs yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

For the time being, Stacy is ignoring the pink and yellow marshmallow castle in the middle of her living room, as well as the fact that Vasily has dragged his sleeping bag into it, so the castle is never unguarded. As for me, I am grateful that Dom gets out of rehab next week. If I inject a select few Peeps with vodka, that llama will eat the entire thing in ten minutes.